House: This is a mistake. I don’t know how to have casual conversation. You think you’re talking about one thing, and either you are and it’s incredibly boring, or you’re not because it’s subtext and you need a decoder ring.
Wilson: Open doors for her, help her with her chair –
House: I have been on a date.
Wilson: Uh, not since disco died. Comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to D.H.A. Her dreams, hopes and aspirations. Trust me. Panty-peeler. Oh, and if you need condoms, I’ve got some.
House: I should cancel. I’ve got a patient in surgery tomorrow.
Wilson: And if you were a surgeon, that would actually matter. That’s a good idea, settle your nerves. Get me a beer, too.
House: No beer.
Wilson: You’re gonna eat before dinner? [House reaches into the fridge and takes out a corsage. Wilson gets up to investigate.]
House: This is pretty lame, right? [Wilson smiles.]
Wilson: I think she likes lame.
(House Season 1, Episode 20)
